Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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