I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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