Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
