i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
