I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
