i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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