Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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