the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
