I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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