I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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