508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
