Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
