I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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