Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
