It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
