so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
