YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize