i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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