Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
