am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize