Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
this hospital has no fireball
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
