i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize