His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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