i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
