Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
