Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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