we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize