You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
