I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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