dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
not ubering you a puppy
I want a musical about memes.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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