You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
