I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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