i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
