i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
