Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
