It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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