Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize