I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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