What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
