I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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