how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
