Will you blow on my dice?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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