whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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