Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
