This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
