She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize