Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize