Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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