at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
two words: eviction party
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
