its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
