My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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