Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
