Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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