she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
