4 words: hood of his car
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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