i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
