Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
