We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
