so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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