Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
