Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
