Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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