p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
