i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
