Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she looked like the before picture.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
