Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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