When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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